In spite of today #NationalComeOutDay, I would like to share my story. 

I came out to my Mom and Dad when I was 18 and it was for a reason I believe the majority of us come out; some boy! I was seeing this guy (Lord Voldemort is what I will call him such a horrible person.) After 4 months of entertaining Voldemort, I decided that I was ready. I was ready to come out to my mom first to tell her I was Gay. 

One day my mom and I were sitting in my bedroom and she had her back turned to me looking out my bedroom window because I thought I was "in love". I grew the balls and I went "Ma, I have something I want to tell you." and she turns around and asked, "what is it? ". I just let it out, "I am gay", she looked at me and laughed! She laughed for a good 8-10 minutes, I was kind of offended actually. Thinking how long I had to prepare myself to tell her this news and for her to laugh like this. But it was refreshing a huge "WOOSHA" lifted off my shoulders. She looked at me and said, "boy I knew I was just waiting for you to say something.". The reason she said she knew though was because she caught me on a chat line a few years back "exploring things". lol, We have all done it and I am no exception.  

Now although my mom knew I was gay and laughed about it. It was hard for her to accept certain things. But I did not have a lot of history with my mom being an openly gay man due to her passing that next year. However; during the time of her living once I finished telling her and the laugher stopped. She asked me if I told my Dad, and was I ready to tell him? Now, my dad is a mans-man like a football, basketball, like a real mans-man. I was terrified to tell him. So I slept on it for days maybe weeks before it was brought to his attention.  

My sister and my dad have always had a rocky relationship and it's just is what it is. One day my sister asked my dad if he could purchase her a perm. I believe it was the starting of a new school year and my sister wanted fresh edges. So she asked him if he could purchase her a perm. His answer was "NO" and that was murder she wrote. I love my sister to death but this day I could have killed her! Once my dad told her no she flipped out. In the mist of her flipping out, she tells him "That's why your son is Gay! 

Please note I did not know this happened until my Dad came over and he called me downstairs. Ironically, and in my favor this was the day I was going to tell him I was in fact gay. So my mother lets me know that my father had arrived, and I remember this like it was yesterday. Me, my mom, and my dad sat on my steps and I said "Dad you know I love you, and I just wanted to tell you that I am gay." and the response my Dad gave me was just like a big hug! 

He went  "Twan you are my son. I don't care if you were a horse or an ant. You will always be my son and I already knew. From the pictures, mom would send me. You can see it was clear." And the tears just came pouring! It was such a good moment for me. It felt so good to finally be me. To finally start being able to live my life as the real Antoine Ward and not having to mask who I really was. But for this, I thank my great Uncle Joe Lewis who came before me. My Dads uncle, that I never had the chance of meeting before he passed. He was into Drag and my Dad was exposed to what it meant to be gay, trans, and/or drag way before I've arrived. So when I came along it was fairly easy to gain his acceptances.

My Dad then later told me that my sister did what she did and said what she said. My feelings were extremely hurt. I ran upstairs and at the time she was on my laptop (before "Lord Voldemort" stole it.). I cursed her out and asked her "how dare you?". But I remember being so happy on the inside because my Dad knew. I told her "that's why he already know!" It was such a relief and I finally was able to grow properly.

Happy #NationalComeOutDay! 


Been living in my truth since 1997. Me, My mom and my sister.